Drenched

Author’s Note: I would like feedback on my word choice and description in this creative piece.

           

            There was one week of school left for Cotton Creek Middle school. My friends and I were planning a pool party to kick off the summer with a splash. Planning the party with all my friends was the only thing I could think about. The pool at my house was an in-ground pool with a twisting water slide and huge drop into the pool which made it ten times better. Jennie, my best friend, was in charge of all of the invitations which she hand crafted and designed herself.

            That week flew by faster than a blazing red racecar. It was the last day of school already. On the bus ride home, everyone gathered around me getting the party details. Rushing off the bus, I ran home as fast as my feet would carry me to get cleaning and prepared for everyone’s arrival. Soon enough, the doorbell sounded the first arrivals.

            Of course it was Jennie. She was always the early bird. Then more people started arriving and I signaled them to the backyard. Their eyes widened to the sight of the sleek blue pool. Someone shouted “Jump in” and in the blink of an eye everyone left the patio.

            I eventually weaseled my way in and the water was surprisingly warm. It took me a couple of minutes to realize something was wrong. It was damp outside from all of the rain we were getting but I thought nothing of it until now. Days of rain has swelled the river, floods threatened to break loose. I lived right by the dam which made a terrible creaking noise and water started pouring over the top like an overflowing bathtub. Everyone screamed and hopped out of the pool like kernels of microwave popcorn. We all reached the house and safely got to the second floor.

            Water swept through the backyard and a couple of other houses but luckily died down soon. When it was safe to go downstairs, there was barely any damage which was very lucky. The party got cancelled and parents somehow managed to tread to the door. We could always have another party, but for now there was a lot of cleaning up to do.

           

           

Dead Man's Path (Point of view)

Author’s Note: This is a point of view piece based on the short story “Dead Man’s Path”.

            How would you feel if you followed a family tradition and someone stopped it? This is exactly what Michael Obi did when he blocked off a path that meant a lot to the priest and the villagers. The priest must have felt a much different feeling than Obi.

            Obi, a cold hearted fellow, just got a job as principle of a school. He was so concentrated on everything being perfect and under control. So when he heard the news about a path leading to the village, he barricaded it off. This must have made him feel very powerful and that he could do anything he wanted. This reminds me of an episode on Disney channel where a girl got elected president of a study club. She worked people way too hard and forced them to get a lot of work done way too fast. This shows that when you get the honor of doing something special, people abuse it and don’t think about others. The people being punished from these people have a much different view of the events.

            In the story “Dead Man’s Path”, the priest is affected by the actions of Obi in many ways. He and his villagers respected and rightfully owned a path leading from their village to the school. When Obi blocks it off, the priest felt useless against Obi’s actions. This shows that when you take away something as meaningful as this, many people get affected. I remember the time when the school took away recess. I had been having recess for many years now and felt like there was nothing I could do to stop it. In the priest’s eyes, he was just trying to protect his town because he knew that blocking it off would lead to problems. These are the reasons that the priest felt a sign of doubt and sadness.

            There are many ways to look at a problem as told with Obi and the priest. But there was only one solution to this problem. These characters saw it in two different ways. A useless path or a prize possession that is there when needed.

           

Sledding at the Cottage

Author's note: I would like feedback on the description and word choice in this piece.

I just finished putting on all of my winter clothes I would need for the snowy outdoors. I headed outside in a hurry and felt the cold, crisp, air on my face which was half covered up with a facemask, hat, and goggles. My cousin, sister, and I grabbed all of the snowboards and sleds we would need and headed off to the hill. After a long tread to the top, I was first to leave sled prints in the snow. My cousin attempted to snowboard but she fell when she hit a bump and got freezing snow down her coat. When we all reached the top again my sister had an idea. We would go on a train holding on to each others handles on the sleds and snowboards. We were all set to go and my cousin started pushing off. We had a slow start but sped off faster than a shot being fired. Half way down I started loosing balance and fell off the snowboard leaving my sister behind me covered in snow. Laughter filled the area as we decided to try it many more times. After many attempts we finally all made it down without falling. It was getting dark and as tired as we were from hiking up the hill, we decided to go inside. Hot chocolate was waiting at the table with tiny marshmellows, just the way we like it. What a fun day.